Wanted: Sanity
by Alternative Angel
Summary: Nothing was going according to Tsuna's plans. Unfortunately, nothing was going to according to Reborn's either. Just what the hell are they supposed to do when they get stuck in Italy with the VARIA, of all people? Wait, the Varia can teach life skills?
1. Day 1

Me: This is something I was always interested in.

Reborn: Tsuna being painfully disemboweled by the Varia?

Tsuna: HIEEE! That's not funny, Reborn!

Reborn: Only to you.

Me: Why is it always you two that show up? Why can't I get anyone else?

Reborn: ~aims gun at my head~ I would hope you're not ungrateful for me wasting my precious time to grace you with my presence.

Tsuna: ~mutters~ Arrogant baby. ~dodges bullet~ REBORN!

Reborn: You've been getting far too mouthy. Let's correct that.

Me: Anyways, I've decided to write about my kindred spirits, Squalo and Tsuna. Hopefully, you'll feel as close to them as I do. ~knocked out by explosion~

**Disclaimer...** I don't own Katekyo Hitman Reborn! If I did, Shamal would still be with us. ~sniffle~

How it began

Tsuna groaned as he woke up. He felt like he'd been whacked over the head by a ten ton mallet.

He blinked. Oh wait... he had. The brunette had walked into his room after school and the next thing he knew–WHAM! He was down. He hadn't even seen it coming.

Well, at least someone had put him in a chair instead of leaving him on the floor. The last thing he needed was the kids stomping over his body again. He still had bruises from tha... Wait a second.

"HIEEE! WHY AM I ON A PLANE?"

Back in Namimori, a woman currently hanging laundry looked up at the sky. "Ara? That sounded like Tsu-kun." She giggled. "But that's impossible. He's on vacation with Reborn-kun. Uwah, Tsu-kun is so lucky!" she squealed.

Meanwhile, our favorite brunette was getting silenced by a very strong kick to the head. Tsuna's head banged against the wall of the plane, and he whined as he held his head.

"Be quiet, Dame-Tsuna. I'm trying to take a nap."

The boy nearly shrieked when he heard the voice of his tutor. He turned to look at where the fedora-wearing baby was and gaped.

There was a seat next to his. This was no ordinary seat. No, this seat's upholstery was a deep crimson red, and it was obviously more cushiony than a Temperpedic pillow. There was the remains of what was surely a five-course meal surrounding it, and a waiter ('Why on earth is there a waiter on a plane?') was in the process of placing an espresso on a separate tray. And there seemed to be a kind of glow coming from the chair, probably due to the fact that the rest of the chair that wasn't cushiony heaven was more than likely solid gold.

The student struggled to ask the obvious question. "Reborn, why do you have a freaking throne for a plane seat?" he asked, trying to pick his jaw off the floor.

"'Cause it's the only acceptable seating a hitman of my caliber should have. I thought that was obvious."

There wasn't really any response to that. Not anything that wouldn't get him tossed out of the plane, anyway.

* * *

><p>Tsuna sighed in relief when he finally saw the mansion after being driven through this bizarrely familiar forest for a good half hour. He couldn't wait to put his and Reborn's luggage down–like his Spartan tutor would actually carry his own bags–and collapse on a bed to try and sleep through this entire ordeal.<p>

The trip had been nothing but misery since he'd woken up. Once he'd gotten over the fact that he was probably well on his way out of the country during the school year (Oh God, Hibari-san was going to _kill_ him!) with only Reborn for company, he'd decided to get something to eat. Or at least, tried to. It was just his luck that none of the flight attendants, or inexplicable waiters, spoke Japanese* and Reborn was too much of a jerk to translate for the boy. He'd had to make do with the left-overs from the currently napping baby's meal.

And don't even get him started on airports. He and Reborn had been in baggage claim, making sure they got everything, when an obnoxious couple, the male wearing a cow-print shirt and the woman a matching skirt, had grabbed one suitcase that Tsuna knew for a _fact_ belonged to Reborn. It took nearly ten minutes to get back the luggage that Tsuna suspected held very much illegal weapons, saying that _yes, this did belong to them, no, it does not say Mucca on the tag, yes, he was sure_; all while trying to pacify his increasingly agitated tutor, whom the lady would not stop gushing about how cute and adorable he was and how she could _just eat him up._

Security was practically painless compared to some of the other things, barring the urge to tear his hair out at the apparently universal insanity everyone shared. You would think a toddler removing several pounds of deadly weaponry from his Armani suit-clad person would raise a few eyebrows. But no, the extendable dagger and set of throwing knives only got an impressed remark on the realistic quality of Japanese toy weapons; the two dozen small firearms being casually dismantled as they were laid in the box had the professor behind them asking where to find such cleverly designed puzzle pieces; and the opened case holding a just polished, positively _gleaming_ sniper rifle? All the security guy at the X-ray machine said was that it was amazing that someone so young could be responsible enough to keep his expensive toys in such sleek condition.

If Tsuna didn't know better, he'd have sworn these people were related to Yamamoto.

At least he knew he was in Italy. He may not be able to speak Italian to save his life, but he knew enough to know that that was what everyone was speaking. So, it didn't really surprise him when a dark car with two men in dark suits were waiting for them outside. It figured that Reborn would drag him all the way to the other side of the world just to see Vongola Headquarters.

Beside him, Reborn frowned. He turned to the men in the front seats. "Why are we here? We're supposed to meet the Ninth at the Mansion."

His student looked at him in confusion. "What do you mean, Reborn? Isn't that the mansion right there?"

"No, Dame-Tsuna," he said with furrowed eyebrows. "The Vongola Mansion, despite it's name, is more like a castle. What's more, it's twice the size of this place, with a beautiful lake near it. Do you see a lake?"

Tsuna looked back out the window, looking (hoping) to see a lake somewhere. No such luck. All there seemed to be were some rather tall hedges quickly disappearing behind the building as the car drew closer.

"So where are we?" he whined, trying not to panic. He'd already had misgivings about this trip, and the fact that they were not where they were supposed to be–they weren't where _Reborn_ wanted them to be–increased his anxiety. Things did not **not** go according to Reborn's plans. They just didn't. He waited for his tutor's reply as the car was put in park, and the men got out.

But Tsuna got his reply before the hitman could even speak.

CRASH! A body was thrown through one of the elegant windows near the side of the building, gravel flying as the large man skid across the driveway.

Opening the door, he and Reborn leaned their heads out to look. His breath seized up when he saw who was lying there: a large man with a strangely spiked beard and hair (Not that he had any right to judge.), large lips, and piercings all over his face. Tsuna closed his eyes and prayed he was seeing things. 'This isn't real, this isn't real, this isn't-'

"Shishi, looks like Levi's taking a dirt nap. Guess the prince was too much for him," came a horribly familiar voice from the shattered window.

It took everything in Tsuna not to shriek and run away. By now, it was clear where they were. And dang it, he wanted get as far away as possible.

"Tsuna, get behind the wheel. We need to leave before they notice us. I don't care if you don't know how to drive, we are _not_ staying here," muttered Reborn. Apparently, Tsuna wasn't the only one that didn't appreciate the thought of being here. The boy started to crawl towards the front seat.

Alas, that was as far as he was going to get.

"VOI! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU GUYS WANT?" someone very familiar and very loud shouted. He whipped his head around to see a long-haired man baring down on his and Reborn's escorts. Okay, so they hadn't been seen yet. Tsuna inched himself closer. They still had a chance to escape.

"We've brought the Arcobaleno, Reborn, and the tenth Vongola candidate, Sawada Tsunayoshi." Or maybe Lady Luck just liked getting his hopes up before sending them crashing down in a ball of flames. She'd always hated him.

The next thing he knew, the doors to the car had been sliced off. _'Hie! Just what is his sword made of?'_ And now, he had five pairs of eyes (At least, he thought there were five. You could only actually _see_ Squalo and Levi's.) staring at him and his tutor, each with different emotions. None of which looked particularly benevolent.

"Just what," Squalo gritted out, "are _you_ doing here?"

Reborn wasn't having any of the intimidation. He had a reputation to keep. "That's my question. We're supposed to be at the Vongola Mansion right now." He cocked his gun at all five assassins that were getting way too close to his personal space. "What have you blood-thirsty idiots done this time?"

At the look of confusion and wariness that crossed all of their faces, Tsuna felt his soul leave him. 'They don't know. Not them, not Reborn, not anybody.' Just who was pulling the strings here?

* * *

><p>"...and so, you see, I had to take the opportunity to start rebuilding my relationship with my son and show the Mafia world that the Vongola is still united. What with the incident at the Inheritance Ceremony and Xanxus's recent encounter, I've come to realize time is even shorter than I had previously thought." The old man smiled genially at them all as they stared. "I'm glad that you are all so understanding and are willing to deal with each other for the time being."<p>

Before he could cut the transmission, Reborn cut in quickly, "I trust flight arrangements have already been made." At the silence that greeted that, the hitman pressed on, "For our return to Japan. Since we're clearly not going to be doing as planned, there's no reason for me and Tsuna to stay in Italy."

The Ninth's face took on a weary look. "Unfortunately, that won't be possible. We didn't get to interrogate Xanxus's stalker about his affiliation, so we have no idea who's plotting against the Vongola at this time. And we don't know how they'd react to Tsunayoshi and you being here. It's safer for both of you to lay low while we investigate. I trust you all will get along splendidly." No one commented on how even Nono didn't look like he believed that last bit.

Everyone was quiet for a moment as they absorbed what Timoteo had told them. For the Varia, this was simply that their boss was basically going to be in protective custody whilst they were expected to tolerate having their boss's most hated rival and that damn tutor of his.

For Reborn and Tsuna, however, there was a whole heck of a lot more to absorb. Apparently, someone had been stalking Xanxus, and the second he was without any kind of guard, the man had approached, saying something about him being absolutely perfect and that it was true what they said about him being the true heir of the Vongola. That had been all; it seems that the second the words 'true heir' left his mouth, Xanxus had vaporized him.

Not only this, but it seems that when word had reached Timoteo about his adopted son being stalked, he'd asked (coughkidnappedcough) Xanxus to come to the Mansion while they looked into it. From the looks the Varia had given each other as they heard bunch of screaming, blasts, and curses roared in a rough, rage-filled voice, it had been clear that Xanxus still wasn't taking it well, two days after the fact.

And now, Reborn and Tsuna had to take in the reality that they were stuck with the Varia for an indefinite amount of time, something for which they had received no warning and therefore, no chance to prepare or bolt.

Levi was the first to start protesting. "I refuse to let this usurper stay in the boss's home. It's betrayal." For good measure, he glared hatefully at a timid Tsuna.

"Well, it's not like we can go against Nono's orders," reasoned Lussuria. "We'll just have to put up with it for now. We'll just keep them from the boss's wing."

"The prince will not tolerate commoners near his rooms. They should be near the less worthy–like one of you," groused Bel, pointing a finger at the rest of the Varia.

Mammon response was to take the "prince's" crown and melt it. When Bel broke out of his shock to realize it had been an illusion, he scowled and threw several knives at the infant. The illusionist disappeared, the knives sailing straight at a quiet Squalo whom managed to duck in time.

"VOI! YOU LITTLE SHIT, I'LL KILL YOU!"

It quickly became an all-out brawl, with Lussuria scolding them as they broke furniture and stained the carpet with blood. "Oh, how am I ever going to get out the stains!"

Reborn just pointed to a hallway from his place on Tsuna's head, and made the brunet grab their luggage as they made their way to the first available room that suited the hitman's tastes.

Tsuna didn't even bother unpacking. He just got in the bed, pulled the covers over his head, and prayed that this would all be a dream as he fell straight to sleep, smiling unknowingly when he felt a familiar weight rest against him and let out a sigh.

Oh well, at least he still had Reborn with him.

* * *

><p><span>Me<span>: Well, that worked out better than I planned.

Reborn: You were really wordy. It was annoying. ~aims gun at me~

Tsuna: Reborn, leave her alone! The readers are supposed to be criticizing her, she doesn't need you!

Reborn: ~kicks Tsuna in the head~ Hmph, you're a thousand years too early to be telling me what to do, Dame-Tsuna.

Me: ~hands Tsuna a bag of ice and turns to readers~ Look, I want honest opinions. I need to know if this seems interesting, or if I should go in another direction. And if you could tell me how my characterization was, that'd be great. I want to improve, and you guys help me do that.

Reborn: Of course, that's the only thing they're good for.

Tsuna: REBORN!

Me: ~sighs~ Please, if you could just take a little time to tell me how I did, I'd appreciate it.

Tsuna: Thanks for reading! ~waves~

Reborn: Ciao ciao!


	2. Day 2

Me: I did not expect to ever update this again.

Reborn: _I_ expected better of you. ~smacks Tsuna to the ground~ Dame-Tsuna, it's your job to inspire your subordinates to achieve greatness, not fail at the simplest tasks.

Me: Er, since when am I- ~dodges bullet~ Okay, okay! I'm his lackey!

Tsuna: Reborn, you can't force people from a different universe to follow your whims!

Reborn: ~presses gun to my head~ Oh, but I can.

Me: ~weighing chances of escaping, looks at readers~ I'd like to thank the following people, because I'm more than a little late to the replies (I won't be making a habit of this):

**LaughterGirl:** I'm kinda baffled by the fact that people are still reviewing this measly thing so long after the first chapter, but I applaud your optimism.

**pinkus-pyon:** Many thanks for the encouragement!

**Arienna****Natalitha:** Isn't it? At first, I was going to have the Ninth force them to be there to strengthen bonds with the Varia. Then I realized that's been attempted before, and the premise ultimately _sucks_. And yeah, Xanxus gets a non-Levi stalker. ~laughs~ Reborn's always pulling the strings in fanfiction, so it's nice to see him be a victim. Oh, stop it. ~blushes and grins~ I'm glad that I can get even a single reviewer like you over ten "Great story!" comments. And you would be correct in assuming Squalo would play a strong role in all of this; all of the Varia will be show-cased, but I've got _plans_ for Squalo. I hope you stay tuned to figure out his role in all of this.

**meglepetes:** I honestly was not expecting anybody to actually find that funny. I'm shocked and pleased.

**Azalie-Kauriu:** ~blush~ Thank you. I hope I stay on your alert list.

**W.****QuillToolazytosignin (Haha, getting this thing to say your name pissed me off****. ****~brittle ****smile~):** Yeah. ~laughs~ Originally, he was going to be in on it, but somehow, it turned into Reborn being a victim too, which works out, considering he's never exactly been a _fan_ of any of the Varia. I think my subconscious wanted revenge for him being such a bastard here.

Reborn: ~knocks me out with the butt of his gun~ You and Dame-Tsuna are being far too mouthy. ~turns to Tsuna with glint in eyes~

Tsuna: HIE!

**Disclaimer...** I don't own Katekyo Hitman Reborn! If I did, I wouldn't have ended the series so soon.

*How Did It Become Like This?*

"VOI! BEL, YOU ARE **DEAD**!"

Tsuna jolted awake, looking around wildly for the source of loudness. When he took in the Western-style room and heard familiar voices taunting each other as several expensive, _fragile_ things met their end, he buried his face in his pillow and flopped back on the bed with a groan. It hadn't been a dream!

He looked up when he noticed that the comfortable weight of Reborn resting against him could no longer be felt. As he dragged himself out of bed, he saw the baby's bags opened haphazardly and took note of the emptiness of the suitcase which usually held Reborn's communication equipment.

A buzzing sound drew his attention to the window, and he promptly let out a shriek. His tutor's face was covered bugs again! Although... He peered at the infant. It looked like he had his computer in his lap as well, though he couldn't say for sure.

"Are you telling me that any and all secure flights from Italy to Japan have been effectively grounded?" his tutor growled.

A collective buzz answered him. Reborn gave a 'tch' before dismissing the insects and closing his laptop. He hopped down from the open window to stand on top of the room's coffee table and gave an irritable sigh that Tsuna usually wasn't privy to hearing.

The boy's eyes clouded with concern. If Reborn was too irritated to even hide his emotions from him, then he guessed the hitman had exhausted all of the sources he could immediately get a hold of in an attempt to get them back home and was unsuccessful. Which was a problem because Reborn doesn't tolerate anything that's not successful even being associated with him.

"Tch, let's go get something to eat. I'm in a bad mood, and I need food," ordered Reborn, leaping onto his student's head to save him the effort of walking.

The only reply he got was a quiet 'yes' as they made their way out the room and down the stairs. There wasn't a single threat of getting lost–not that Tsuna was inclined to anyways–thanks to the sounds of chaos echoing from what could only be either the living room or dining area–nowhere else could have that many expensive things constantly being shattered.

Turning the corner, Tsuna barely managed to dodge something large thrown at him. He stared at Squalo picking himself up off the floor, swearing at what most would consider a normal volume, but was probably a mutter for the loud shark.

The silver-haired man glared at him when he caught the teen staring. "Voi! What the hell are you looking at, brat?"

"Hie!" Tsuna jumped and hit his back against the wall. "I-I was just surprised to see that it was you that got thrown!"

He looked at Tsuna like he was an idiot. "And why the hell does that surprise you?" He was under no illusion that the Varia came off as anything other than violent, psychotic, childish bastards.

"W-Well, I just was expecting it to be Levi..." said Tsuna, twiddling his fingers. "Not that you look like Levi or anything!" he quickly added. "I just figured that Levi was the one that constantly got thrown, you know, since he seems like the one who..." he trailed off.

Squalo stared at him for a moment before laughing and walking back, leaving the teen staring at his back in surprise.

A no longer irritated voice brought him back to earth. "Oi, Tsuna. Let's go."

"Right..."

* * *

><p>If Tsuna weren't used to dealing with Dino's habit of dining like Western royalty when visiting, Tsuna might have gaped at the opulence of the dining room and the multiple trays of food. As it was, he just tried to figure out which chair was closest to the exit and farthest away from the terrifying people he was staying with.<p>

"Shi shi shi. Don't sit near me, commoner. I don't want to catch any peasant disease."

_'He acts like I have fleas...'_

"I refuse to acknowledge that the impostor is eating in Boss's dining room!"

_'Well, it's not like I'm thrilled with this either!'_

"Muu, if you pay me enough, I'll make sure to warn you when someone throws food at you."

_'At least I'll only have to worry about food coming at-'_

"Ah-ah~! Please don't waste all of my hardwork! Use the silverware instead."

_'I should've known not to get my hopes up.'_

"Voi! Trash, if you start any kind of trouble or even make any stupid comments, I'll kick your ass six ways to Monday!"

_'So, it comes down to this anyway...!'_

Reborn hopped off Tsuna's head into a nearby chair, waving for Tsuna to sit down. Seeing no better alternative, he took a seat and looked at the spread before him*. Directly before him was a platter piled high with some kind of cooked toast that had a sweet smell, and on one side was a large bowl of glistening strawberries with the other side showing a small bowl of what could only be whipped cream. Further down the table were plates of bacon and ham and sausage, dishes filled with biscuits & complementary marmalades, and pitchers holding fresh fruit juices.

Before his mouth could even start to water, butter knives came flying at him and forced him to duck down. He looked back up to ask whom had thrown them, only to freeze at the sight of Bel and Levi both brandishing multiple forks. At seeing his terrified expression, they both smirked. With a shriek, he shoved himself out of the chair and twirled it around to shield him. He moved not a moment too soon, the forks embedding themselves in the back of the chair.

Tsuna shivered at the close call, thanking his (usually un-)lucky stars and glaring at Reborn's approving smirk. The sound of more things breaking and a particularly loud voice shouting had him cautiously peeking around his improvised shield.

"-and what the hell gave you the stupid idea to use _forks_? FORKS. Show some goddamn dignity and at least use a knife, you dumbasses!" Squalo shouted as he kicked at the now prone forms of Tsuna's attackers.

He opened his mouth to thank the swordsman, only to shriek and dive back behind the chair when the man's attention turned to him without any prompting. The brunette cowered in the seat as stomping footsteps made their way to him. When they stopped, he opened his eyes and almost fainted at the steely eyes glaring into his own gold ones.

"As for you!" he yelled, despite being only inches from the teen. "This is your last warning; next time you cause trouble, I'll finish you off myself!" Tsuna could have cried.

'_I didn't start anything! All I was doing was sitting here!_'

An undisguised snort drew his gaze to the suit-clad baby that had the gall to call himself a tutor, his smug gaze mocking him without words.

"AND ANOTHER THING," Squalo practically screamed, snapping Tsuna's attention back to him, "DON'T FUCKING USE 200-YEAR-OLD FURNITURE AS A SHIELD FROM DAMN SILVERWARE!" He grabbed chocolate hair and yanked the boy's face inches from his, eyes narrowed to slits. "Got it?" he growled.

Terrified, the poor boy could barely nod through his shivering, but he managed out a shrill 'yes' that the long-haired man deemed good enough. He let go of him and proceeded back to his own seat calmly to continue eating. Tsuna could only stare after him in fearful bewilderment, not understanding the man at all.

'_What have I gotten myself into?!_'

* * *

><p>After breakfast had settled down considerably, without Bel's antagonizing and Levi's hostility making everyone tenser, Tsuna asked Reborn about everyone back home. He tried to ignore the way the Varia were paying attention to them.<p>

The hitman hummed as he gathered his thoughts. "I told Maman that we were traveling for your lessons and wanted to surprise Iemitsu with a visit, so she wasn't to tell anyone we were here, not even your Guardians."

Tsuna blinked. "Wait, is Dad being kept out of the loop too?" At Reborn's nod, his confusion grew. "Why?"

A snort from across the table drew the brunette's attention to their hosts, whom all had very flat looks on their faces. Bel smirked at his questioning gaze. "The lion doesn't want others playing with his cub," he sang.

It was Tsuna's turn to cast a deadpan stare at everyone. "Dad doesn't want me around mafioso. Right," he said flatly.

Reborn smacked him over the head and settled on the table. "Believe it or not, Iemitsu's got issues with you getting directly involved with the mafia. Especially the seedier aspects of the mafia."

"Tell me about it," Squalo groaned, leaning his head back as if pained by a sudden memory. "The bastard bragged about his "adorable" family from dawn 'til dusk, telling stories about you every chance he got, squealing at letters he got from his wife, showing off thousands of photos," he shuddered at the memory.

The teen wasn't much better, horrified at how embarrassing his father was, even in the mafia underworld.

"But," the man continued, "Getting actual information about you guys out of him was like pulling teeth from a shark. You were liable to get your limbs ripped off before you could even get ahold of even one. He guarded everything like it was fucking _gold_."

Lussuria nodded in agreement. "He was such a charmer whenever anyone wanted to act friendly, but the fastest way to get those claws out was to suggest meeting his family." He sighed dreamily. "Ah~ If only he were younger~!" His comrades shuddered and leaned away from him in disgust.

Honey eyes stared in absolute disbelief. "You've got to be joking..." he muttered.

Levi heard the words and turned to fix him with a glare. "Are you calling the Varia liars, you usurper?" he threatened, gripping his umbrella tightly.

The teen didn't notice it as he glared up at them, a fire to his eyes that startled the Varia. "You're telling me my father actually cares about me?" He stood up from his seat, hurt and anger crushing his heart. "You're saying he abandoned me and lied to me to keep me safe?" His voice was steadily rising, almost a yell now. "He's the one that pushed me into the mafia and sent insane assassins after me and my friends! And you're think he's some overprotective father that looks after his family?!"

"Tsuna..." Reborn started, though only halfheartedly trying to stop his student's tirade. It wasn't like he didn't understand, and his student rarely vented as it was.

"He's nothing but a liar and a deadbeat, AND I CAN'T STAND HIM!" the normally timid boy finished with a shout, shoulders heaving with the effort to hold back sobs. He felt the tears welling up in his eyes and quickly escaped into a random hall to avoid embarrassing himself more.

* * *

><p>The dining room was quiet as the Varia stared after the boy in various states of shock. Reborn observed them for a second before he headed back towards their room. He was re-energized and ready to continue his search for a way back to Japan.<p>

"Oi, Reborn," Viper called, making the other baby halt at the door. "Aren't you going after your student?" he asked curiously and perhaps even a little hesitantly.

He snorted. "He'll calm down eventually. I can't help him with this," Reborn started walking again, "That's Iemitsu's problem."

Lussuria hummed to himself. "Who knew that the Young Lion of the Vongola had such a bad relationship with his son?"

"Shi shi shi, his precious cub hates him. Poor lion~" the self-proclaimed prince snickered as he headed out to the garden to throw his knives at the birds.

The others also made their way out to do their own thing. All but one. Gray eyes looked in the direction the brunette had taken off, a thoughtful look to them for once.

* * *

><p>Tsuna groaned as he once again came to a dead-end.<p>

'_It didn't look this big from the outside!_'

After he'd hid away in a random study–that honestly looked more like the scene of a battle, if you asked Tsuna–to cry, away from people that'd only make fun of him, he'd inspected the scarred (and it _was_ scarred, holy crap) room for a while, taking note of the familiar signs of some of the weapons he and his friends had faced when fighting these lunatics.

When his stomach growled, he looked at a worn clock and realized he'd been gone for hours, it already being after lunch. And it all went downhill from there.

He would swear up and down he'd covered every inch of the ground floor, but he never found the dining room again. Then, he'd headed upstairs to his and Reborn's room in hopes that he'd find a snack to tide him over until dinner or someone showed up to bring him back to the dining room.

Three hours, two floors, one dungeon, two training rooms, and a roof later, he was exhausted beyond the point of hunger and just about ready to start crying again, now for a completely different reason.

"This is all Dad's fault," he muttered to himself as he slumped in a corner to rest for a moment. His eyes started to close and he struggled to keep them open. "He's always making me messed up..." He started to doze off, chin resting on bent knees as he wrapped his arms around them.

He was unaware of the footsteps coming towards him or the figure that loomed over. "Stupid old man..."

When someone lifted him into their arms, he just curled into them, too emotionally and physically exhausted to fight whoever it was carrying him.

As he was laid on a bed, he felt something tickle his nose and wrinkled it in reaction before finally letting himself fall completely into sleep's embrace.

* * *

><p>The muscular blonde grinned at the men as he climbed out of the car, casually straightening out his suit while waving at the first. "Afternoon, Coyote!" he nonchalantly shook the prosthetic hand before turning to the other man with a respectful air and going down on one knee. "Boss."<p>

Timoteo smiled at the man he considered something of a son. "No need for such formality, Iemitsu. You're coming here as a favor to me, after all."

The man stood up and scratched the back of his head as he sheepishly said, "Yeah, but I'm not sure what help I'll be. That kid's never liked me, and I doubt the sentiment has improved."

"Well, if nothing else, you'll provide a distraction for my boy." He winced as an explosion rocked the grounds and windows on the third floor shattered. "And I need all the help I can get."

Iemitsu grimaced and mentally cried at the unfairness of his life.

'_Ah, at least Tsuna's safe and sound in Namimori with Nana. Wish I was that lucky._'

Unknown to him, said son clenched his fist in his sleep, suddenly wanting to punch his stupid father.

* * *

><p>*I only have a general idea of what an Italian breakfast consists of, but considering the Varia speak Japanese when they're freaking IN Italy, I'm gonna go out on a limb and guess they have a fairly multi-cultural life-style.<p>

Confession time. I have no idea where I was going with this chapter; I had a plan of attack, to get the ball rolling and everything, and POOF! Gone.  
>So, if you're wondering why this seems a little aimless, yeah... My bad.<p>

Also, Squalo. I understand him, yet I don't. I get him in his calmer moments, but his temper has always been a little weird to me, so I tend to screw up when he gets angry. If anybody could give me pointers, that'd be awesome.

As for Iemitsu... I don't think Iemitsu's a good father and he's certainly not a good person either. But he does love his son.

And does anyone know whether it's VARIA or Varia? VARIA is how the Japanese put it, but that might just be to subvert the confusion that the difference in capital letters and lower-case letters causes some. Varia seems right, since it's actually a word, but I just don't know. Can anyone tell me?

Review if you want. Favorite/Follow if you don't. But if you do review, at least give me some feedback. It can be negative, it can be positive; just... give me _something_.


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